A raya is

If i complete my duty to fast and pay zakat; i am just an ordinary muslim. If i decorate my house perfectly with beautiful curtains and strands of twinkling lights; i am just another decorator. If i slave away in the kitchen, baking dozens of cookies and preparing gourment meals; i am just another cook. If i am contributing some money or clothes to the kids; i am just another philantrophist. So, on one dark, dreary and raining raya i asked my baby cousins about what a raya is.

"Raya tu bila kita pakai baju raya, makan kuih raya, dapat duit raya, pergi jalan raya.. itu la raya!" Aiyoh.. itu maciam pun bole ka? I need to be as simple as kids then!

SELAMAT HARI RAYA (yes, belated i know)

Kuih

Ada kuih bakar, tepung pelita, karipap, roti jala, kuih yang biji-biji warna merah dengan kelapa dan kuih yang entah aku pun tak tahu namanya. Ada jugak air minuman sejuk bermacam warna. Air kelapa, air soya, air tebu, air tembikai dan air warna biru itu air apa? Lauk pauk pun beraneka macam. Masakan ikan, ayam, daging; direndang, digulai, dipercik (yum..yum) dimasak itu ini. Sayur campur yang masak cuma 5 minit pun ada. Bulan puasa dah jadi pesta makan dan pesta makanan! Aku tak mahu kuih apa-apa. Tak mahu lauk apa-apa. Aku tak ingin apa-apa. Aku cuma nak makan dengan kamu. Aku nak kamu makan dengan aku. Sigh!

Mak, tengah masak apa tu?

Dont be messin' with ME

Tired and sick of working. Putting it simple, I have a VERY bad hair day. Hate it! Fortunately, there are still reasons for me staying here, (either than the fact that I'm bonded for that PTPTN stuff). Work is pretty easy as no one is breathing down my neck. So it’s kinda like heaven for lazy people. Don't get me wrong, I love work, but it has to be done systematically, the right personnel, the right way. I don't feel I owe anything to them after what they've put me through. I'd tried settling the loan funds; they insisted me to pay the entire amount or RM18K. I told myself to give it one more shot obviously I missed. I guess it's the only way or the highway.

Had a great time at kampung last weekend. Despite it, life is still lonely and seemed to be lacking in purpose. Can't seem to stay focus on anything I do. Perhaps it’s really a sign to strive forward instead of looking back in the past. I'm totally messed up; still not in one piece.